Hey there mama!

Birth is powerful, unpredictable, and full of moments no one can truly prepare you for. But there are things you deserve to know—things that often get overlooked in quick prenatal appointments or brushed past in standard hospital conversations.

As a birth photographer (and mama of three) who spends hours alongside families during labor, I’ve seen firsthand what really happens behind the scenes… and what parents later say, “I wish someone had told me.”

Today, I’m sharing 3 of the most important truths doctors don’t always mention.
And if you want the full list of all 10 essential things every parent should know, you can download the free guide at the bottom of this post.

1. You don’t have to give birth in the hospital.

Giving birth at home or in a birth center can provide a more relaxed and intimate setting for the birth of your baby. It allows you to have more control over the birthing process and can provide a more personalized experience. This option is safe for low-risk pregnancies and has similar or better outcomes compared to hospital births.

For me, I’ve experienced both sides.

My first birth was in a hospital… and not even the one I was supposed to deliver at. The unit was full, communication was messy, and I ended up with an OBGYN I had never met. As a young, first-time mom, the whole situation felt overwhelming for my husband and me. It wasn’t traumatic…but it wasn’t the warm, supported experience I had hoped for.

My last two babies, though? Completely different.
I chose two different free-standing birth centers… one in Mountlake Terrace, WA, and one later here in Vancouver, WA. And funny enough, my Vancouver midwife actually knew my Mountlake Terrace midwife. Such a small world.

Those birth-center experiences were calmer, gentler, and so much more aligned with what I wanted. They’re a big part of why I’m so passionate about helping families explore their options and create birth memories they truly feel empowered by.

Question for your doctor: Would he/she support you and work with a home
birth midwife if you decided to go this route?

2. Epidurals are not the only form of pain relief available during labor.

Epidurals are a common form of pain relief during labor, but they are not the
only option available. Other forms of pain relief include nitrous oxide, spinal
blocks, and natural methods such as hypnobirthing, acupuncture and
massage. These options can provide a more natural and less invasive form of
pain relief.

For my first birth, I did end up choosing an epidural.
It wasn’t originally in my birth plan, but I was a young first-time mom, at a hospital I hadn’t planned on, with a doctor I had never met. The birth center I was supposed to deliver at had tubs for laboring… something I was really looking forward to. But the hospital I ended up in only had a shower, and it just didn’t bring the relief I hoped for. Pair that with a nurse who wasn’t the most comforting, and eventually I just wanted a moment to breathe and reset. So I said yes to the epidural.

And honestly? It wasn’t as scary as I imagined.
Once it was placed, it actually helped me refocus and work with my contractions instead of fighting them.

For my last two babies, though, things looked totally different. My husband and I prepared using The Bradley Method, and the techniques we learned there – understanding the body, deep relaxation, partner support, and intentional breathing – made all the difference. Those births were unmedicated, calm, and incredibly connected experiences.

Every birth is different, and every mama’s needs are valid. Whether you choose an epidural or a more natural route, the most important thing is having options and feeling supported along the way.

Question for your doctor: What other pain relief options do they see often
that’s effective other than epidural?

3. You can bring your own music or sounds to the delivery room.

Music can have a powerful impact on our emotions, and it can help create a
calm and soothing environment for you during labor. You can bring your own
playlist, a sound machine, or even your own voice to help you relax and focus
during labor.

This is one option I didn’t use during any of my births. Not for any particular reason – it just never made its way onto my birth plan. Looking back, I think it’s because I was so focused on my breathing and staying grounded in my body that music didn’t even cross my mind. For some parents, curated playlists or calming soundscapes make a huge difference in setting the mood, easing anxiety, or helping with rhythm during contractions. For me, the quiet and my breath were enough – but it’s a beautiful option for anyone who loves using music as a tool for relaxation or motivation.

Question for your doctor: Can I bring music to the birthing room?

Want the full list of all 10 things your doctor never told you about giving birth?

I created a free, beautifully designed guide that breaks down each insight with clarity, encouragement, and real-world tips from the birthing space.

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